“Happy Fall Y’all!” My front porch sign reads. I will admit, I love summer most of all, but fall is pretty beautiful. The leaves are already changing in the mountains and every year I’m humbled by God’s magnificent glory displayed in the autumn color.

If I’m being completely truthful, the changing of the seasons has been so hard. It’s when grief really sneaks up on you. And grief has it’s own way of saying “I’m still here.” They say with time, you learn to cope and live with your grief, and I can attest to that with the loss of Thomas’s dad, Denny. But anyone who’s ever lost someone will tell you, the first year is the most difficult. It’s because you miss the presence of your loved one and then are grieving all the “should haves” and “firsts” without them…

More of Our Story

If you aren’t familiar with our story, I probably need to elaborate a little. Thomas and I are high school sweetheart, read more of our love story here. We’ve known each other for over twelve years and have experienced a lot of life together. Over the last four years, his mom was battling sickness. Shortly before we celebrated 6 months of marriage, Marcia was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney failure. A term we became all too familiar with. Since February of 2021, she fought quite the battle.

It was during this time last year that things became progressively worse and by the end of 2023, she would go on dialysis. Dialysis was the least of her concerns while the large wounds that wouldn’t heal on her body developed into even bigger wounds that required two major surgeries. Thomas and I spent most days traveling back and forth to Morgantown, staying with sweet family or in hotels, all while trying to juggle working full time. Poor Marcia experienced more suffering and pain than you’d wish on anyone. Dialysis caused a very rare disease, calciphylaxis, to develop on her body and after more surgeries and all efforts to help heal her, the pain became too much for her to bear.

In mid-May, she decided to come home on hospice care. She hadn’t seen the inside of her home since December. We celebrated her last Christmas and Easter while she was in the hospital; even bought her the cutest little felt tabletop tree. Our last visit in the hospital was Mother’s Day… she passed exactly a week later.

As the Seasons Change

Now that you know a little more of our story over the last year and half of our lives, you can understand why the changing of seasons may be hard. When you see someone celebrate the “lasts” of their lives on earth while hooked up to machines or lying in a hospital bed, there are difficult memories that surface. Never once did I see Marcia complain or question why this had happened to her. I often would comment that she had the faith of Job.

God is Faithful

One thing I know now is that as the seasons change, Our God remains faithful. I’m using this series to process and work through the stages of grief. I’ve been praying that The Lord uses it for good. If someone else reading this can resonate with anything I’m writing, I’m praying for them (you) to see God’s goodness despite living through tragedy and loss.

One scripture that brought our hearts so much comfort during this difficult time is this: 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” If you have more time, read the entire chapter of 2 Corinthians 4, it is truly life-giving.

This life on earth is not forever. Thank The Good Lord for that. Eternity awaits on the other side of death for us… and for those who believe in The Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior, we have nothing to fear. Our light and momentary troubles mean nothing compared to the glory that awaits us in heaven. I’m so thankful sweet Marcia’s days of suffering are gone and that she is spending eternity in Heaven with her Savior and loved ones. It’s that hope that brings great comfort during the pain of losing her. We have a blessed hope.

If you’re questioning your faith or have questions about the grieving process and need someone to talk to, please reach out. No one should go through this alone or without hope.

See you next week, friends.

xoxo,
Zoe